Friday, March 22, 2013

Apparently I'm not as over it as I thought.

I had a fun wake-up call today, well, wake-up text as it were. I was thinking of an old friend, and sent a text to see what was up, concerned but also I have a lot on my plate. She sent back a wall of text saying she can't be the person I need her to be, that she has to worry about her own things, and has grown a lot in the past few months without me. I had thought I was the kind of person who, if you have a problem, you can talk to me about it. Neither here nor there though. The point is, I am 23 years old, as of Easter have been separated/divorced for a year, and keep finding myself in situations that push me to break, where I have to talk to someone to try to wrap my head around it. Unfortunately, because I have had to be so strong, anything that overburdens me is too much for people to handle. I might need to look into an actual therapist.

In other news, got into a crazy whirlwind romance, and am having issues getting out of it. The one that got away back in the day popped back up, and I can't let that go a second time. I would go more into it, but now is an awful time, as I'm going to lose my apartment Monday and found out my mother has precancerous cells in her uterus. I could use a friend, and have found that mine are all too far away, and that I really could care less most of the time anymore. My meds aren't really helping me anymore, and I don't know what more to do. I need to get out of this place and explore for a while, but I can't. I am trapped, scared, alone, and I don't know what to do.