My father's death has shaped me in a lot of ways, and was one of the hardest things I have ever been forced to experience, but the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with was my husband leaving me.
I've always had a problem trusting people. So when I actually trusted someone enough to show my entire self to them on a daily basis, the fact that he just dropped me like I was unimportant because he couldn't deal with me being me was the worst thing I have ever had to deal with. I'm better about it now, because I'm not depressed like I have been since October. That's all I want to say about this really. If you want to know more, read past posts on here. You'll understand.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
5 things that make me most happy right now
1. My friends- They love me, help me, challenge me, and watch out for me.
2. My Drew- Every second I get to spend time with him thrills me, even as I dread the time he must leave.
3. My apartment- I have a place that is mine. I don't have to let anyone in I don't want to, and as long as I pay the rent, no one can tell me I'm not to be there.
4. My couch- It is mine, and NO ONE can take it from me.
5. My creativity- I can make any moment interesting, and see the world in a way that many people don't. It makes life interesting.
2. My Drew- Every second I get to spend time with him thrills me, even as I dread the time he must leave.
3. My apartment- I have a place that is mine. I don't have to let anyone in I don't want to, and as long as I pay the rent, no one can tell me I'm not to be there.
4. My couch- It is mine, and NO ONE can take it from me.
5. My creativity- I can make any moment interesting, and see the world in a way that many people don't. It makes life interesting.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
Minor note before I get into this one. Mostly to self. I am going to rename these once I'm done with them.
1. Spend as much time making good memories with your brothers and sister as possible. Yes, they do stupid things, and irritate you sometimes, but they are also the only people who will love you their entire lives.
2. Hang out with Billy more. Youth fades, and sometimes we lose people way too soon.
3. Try to get your ADD under control. School is easy now, but come college, if you don't have it under control, you'll screw it up, and flunk out.
4. Ignore mother dearest when she's pushing buttons. Next year will be hell if you don't.
5. You will always have him as your friend. Quit trying to make it more.
6. That little kid is one of the best people in your life, and you will love him more each day, even when he irritates you.
7. In a few years, you won't talk to a lot of the people who cause you drama on a daily basis. Make your memories while you can, and enjoy being a teen.
8. Don't ever get married, no matter how good an idea it seems at the time or how much sense it makes. You're too awesome for one person to have you forever.
9. Life really does get better. Sure, there are times that it will suck worse (Senior year is really gonna suck babe), but in the end, you'll be free and stable and able to take care of yourself.
10. Never let anyone make you feel like you aren't worth their time. You are beautiful inside and out, kind, courageous, unpredictable, intelligent, and, most importantly, strong. You're worth so much more than you think you are.
1. Spend as much time making good memories with your brothers and sister as possible. Yes, they do stupid things, and irritate you sometimes, but they are also the only people who will love you their entire lives.
2. Hang out with Billy more. Youth fades, and sometimes we lose people way too soon.
3. Try to get your ADD under control. School is easy now, but come college, if you don't have it under control, you'll screw it up, and flunk out.
4. Ignore mother dearest when she's pushing buttons. Next year will be hell if you don't.
5. You will always have him as your friend. Quit trying to make it more.
6. That little kid is one of the best people in your life, and you will love him more each day, even when he irritates you.
7. In a few years, you won't talk to a lot of the people who cause you drama on a daily basis. Make your memories while you can, and enjoy being a teen.
8. Don't ever get married, no matter how good an idea it seems at the time or how much sense it makes. You're too awesome for one person to have you forever.
9. Life really does get better. Sure, there are times that it will suck worse (Senior year is really gonna suck babe), but in the end, you'll be free and stable and able to take care of yourself.
10. Never let anyone make you feel like you aren't worth their time. You are beautiful inside and out, kind, courageous, unpredictable, intelligent, and, most importantly, strong. You're worth so much more than you think you are.
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