Sunday, January 8, 2012

Baby Blues

I haven't blogged in a while. I'm sorry. Things have been crazy. Not that people even really read much. Either way, I've been thinking about lots of things lately. Specifically about babies. I'm kinda scared about the whole idea of that.

Really I guess I should start with where my head is lately. I haven't been feeling well, and when I don't feel good I'm in bed all day thinking. By that I mean I watch a bunch of Netflix and think about where I am in life. Yup. I'm a sap. Sorry guys.

Kids. I don't want them. But at the same time YES I do likerightnowbecauseomgkidsarecool. It is very confusing.

Pros of having kids (ie: reasons having kids wouldn't suck)
~Seriously, kids can make you feel so much better when you're having a shitty day. Sometimes I miss having the kids around all the time.
~Someone who needs me. So it is a stupid stupid STUPID reason to want a kid, but I have realized that I am just the kind of person that needs to be needed. I like it when I can fix things. Kids break things, and mess up A LOT so it would be a constant thing.
~I really want to give it a shot at being a better mother than my mother was to me. I want to know that I can think of the right answers, or at least the funny answers.

Cons of having kids (ie: reasons having kids would suck)
~OH MY GOD. Sometimes kids make shitty days EVEN WORSE! They are needy and never can't do things on their own yet and so they complain ALL THE TIME.
~What if I screw up being a mom? What if I make them even more screwed up than I am?

Diapers. Teenagers. Growing up. Moving out. Making huge mistakes. I'm not ready to handle that kind of thing. I'm still making mistakes. But that's what life is about, isn't it? Now trust me, I'm not going to have a kid anytime soon. I want to wait until we are settled and able to take care of a kid financially, and so does Brian.

So why do I feel like I'm missing something?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Johnny 5 needs more input