Friday, May 4, 2012

Day 34: Dealing in my own way.

How I feel today


I have been really busy, so sorry about not posting anything in a bit. I managed to get an apartment, have started paying for a couch so that I will have a comfy place to sit in said apartment while playing video games, and am working on getting all the other random things for an apartment. I don't move until July, so that is something I am excited for, but that I also have time to get ready for.

Yesterday at work, I broke down and cried twice because everything hit me. I don't really know if I was crying because I was upset or because I was angry, but it really sucked. I was so tired of not being able to get in touch with him when I just want to get everything done and over with. I'm so tired of dealing with everything.

Today was super busy at work, and just in general an awful day. To top it off, I was almost home and Wish You Were Here came on the radio, so yeah more crying. I miss my dad, and being in this situation really makes me feel like I could use his input, as he was there.
I turned the phones back on tonight, and after a week of trying to get in touch with him on Facebook, which he is on daily, he got back to me within 20 minutes of the phones being turned back on to complain that I turned the phones back on with the money from the tax return. Sometimes I can't stand him. The phones were in both of our names, so half is still his responsibility. He also has decided that until the divorce is through, he isn't going to transfer the car into my name. It concerns me because as long as the car is in his name he could decide to be spiteful and take it, and I need it or I can't work, which isn't an option. Either way, it was an awful way to end the day, and I had been talking to Drew, which was making my day slightly better, before I had to deal with him, and then I tried to call him back and he isn't answering his phone, so I'm worried because I know he was driving when I was talking to him and I worry about everything.

All in all, I am glad I have tomorrow off. I will manage to get adult stuff done, deal with stuff I don't want to deal with, buy a present for Joyce's wedding, and then Saturday will just be a good day. I am so excited for that. I get to go to Joyce's wedding, the grand reopening party for the Underground, and see people who I adore.

Tomorrow will be better than today and yesterday.

~Pam

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Johnny 5 needs more input