Day 45: Day 1 of the rest of my life.

To Brian



We had something awesome for a while. If you had given it a chance, it really could have been something amazing, but given that you've thrown it out, I plan to live my life for myself now, and do anything by myself. I hope you have an interesting life from this point on.

To Me


I have had an interesting life. There is no instance where my life could be considered boring, which is why I'm pretty sure that I don't do crazy things or have crazy stories all the time with my friends. I have had a horrid past, and every time something starts to go boring, something else crazy happens.

I don't really regret this. I would have preferred to NOT have had a childhood where I wanted to be dead more often than not, but given the hand I was dealt, I think I did amazingly at still managing to come out even, possibly even with a couple more chips, and the phone number of the nearest guy (probably took that poker analogy too far, but whateves. I regret nothing).

I saw Brian this weekend, and while it was kind of awkward because his parents were also there, I didn't feel sad, or really even angry any more. I pitied him, that he was back exactly where he had been before I showed up: still not taking care of himself, still doing his laundry at his parents house, going back to being on their phone plan because he couldn't afford it on his own.
I haven't exactly been the picture of taking care of myself, to be fair, but I have been on my own for that kind of thing for a while now, and I'm starting off new again, with less than what I had before. I'm doing well. I'm trying my hardest to not lean on anyone too much, and am actually doing wonderfully on my own.


To Drew



The long wait will be worth it in the long run.